I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I think your dad took our porno
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize
