Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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