if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
