mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
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