I think i peed on brittanys purse
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Randomize
