Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
