i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
