I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
