I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
