Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
