Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
