It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
