Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
you inspire me to be a worse person
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
