don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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