i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
