I got chris browned last night
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
