My friends, they love my intelligence
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
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