He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
