You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
