he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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