idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
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