my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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