Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
