Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Randomize
