Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize
