Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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