you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
