Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
