my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
found the other keg... it's in the tree
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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