i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Randomize
