left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
