PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Randomize
