im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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