they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
