I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
