WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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