part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Randomize
