Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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