I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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