We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
