i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
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