Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
