So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
