Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Randomize
