we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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