I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Randomize
