We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
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