they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
