are you still at the devil's house?
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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