Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
